#24 The Sunday Stretch
holding us together throughout the weekly parenting/life stretch
Who else wants to curl up until the world sorts it’s shit out??
It’s been a lot.
Every 6-9 months or so I get a full whack of fatigue as I continue to heal, process and reroot following the last few years of personal and global chaos.
I’m in one of those WHACK’s right now.
Nothing feels safe, nothing feels anchored, there is so much unknown, so much eroding, so much possibility for better, but it’s dark out there.
I am sad.
I push through, I get on with the day, I do the school run and cook the dinner, I support my clients and I pay my bills… but underneath there is a sadness which can get loud or quiet depending on how I feed goodness into my soul - and most importantly, how I block out the paralysing negative self loathing.
Some obvious rational causes:
the world….
self employment can drain your light
my girls are growing and i’m losing my purpose as the baby years end
i’ve invested so much of myself in these little years, as I emerge I don’t really knew who the Fuck I am anymore
my 30’s are ending and I’m reflecting on all that went right - and all that went wrong. And hello perimenopause, is that you dear??
I’ve no clue what’s coming next, I know none of us do… but it’s like a lot of the life milestones of home, wedding, babies are all ticked off and culture forgot to ever show us what comes next?? The movies just end there.
I feel disconnected to the world in my little work/home cave
I feel disconnected to the people I used to share lightness and laughter with
Since a recent life twist my stomach and gut have been in literal knots, creating irrational 3am google searches of impending doom
I don’t have enough fun - I don’t release the responsibility often or ever
I was asked to partner with Irish jewellery brand Oat (Of All Time) Jewellery for their RING FOR HOPE campaign with all proceeds going to Samaritans and SoSad Ireland and it reminded me of how we need people in our life to pull us through dark clouds. #ad no fee
We all need that person we ring for hope.
For some, the podcasts I’ve created have been a little anchor of hope during hard times of covid, fertility, postnatal depletion or for the families I created Gold Ribbon Conversations for - and that brings me so so much relief.
That’s the power of podcasts really isn’t it, to have us hear experiences, connect and understand ourselves more.
I’m outstanding grateful to be beginning to create a season of Stretch Marks over the summer to inject it back into my own self care routine and hopefully to be a part of yours too…
But first, here is a collection of things I’ve needed/discovered/enjoyed relied upon this week: