Green Friday Dopamine - Irish brands I will be buying in bulk from
I am emotionally bankrupt from a heavy week and I can't write a deep article so let's go shopping for some dopamine instead.
Deep and meaningful written piece about life? - I just can’t. Not today.
After a heavy week (or several) my heart is sore, my eyes are drained dry.
The door to the chamber of “insightful meaningful life stuff” is very much ajar and if I step inside it wraps a heavy fog of sadness around me and all chance of functioning goes out the window.
No doubt you all know from my pod this week that someone I love is fighting for their quality of life this week, and we are worried sick. Plus - the world is fucked, so there’s that. I feel like a walking open wound right now, and even the faintest whiff of depth feels like vinegar to my open pores.
My trauma response - I can not sit still. Or relinquish control which is probably why I’ve denied myself a drop of alcohol all month.
Every weekend in November has been dedicated to culling my home of all stuff-ocation because I feel like I can’t breathe. Mellowing out with a glass of wine sounds unattainable and incompatible with my fried nervous system.
In contrast, my other mode is being in a state of complete zone out where I can’t think 3 steps ahead, I can’t think of what time we have to leave at, or where I need to be on Wednesday. I can’t think. I can’t join the dots. I can only stay busy in the now - arriving at future me disorganised and late, without keys or the hobby equipment my child needs.
And as mams - joining the dots is pretty much what all of December demands of us. The mental arithmetic of Christmas is looming and I feel under prepared for this year’s exam.
“Why be sad - when you can be happy”
I haven’t found that switch just yet - but she’s right, I know she is.
So for now I crave feeling deadly about a discount while supporting a few of my favourite Irish brands - and hopefully releasing some of my Christmas overwhelm.